a speaker that looks like it should be louder than it is

Sunday morning, eggs in the pan, a Motown playlist going, and I am doing the spatula dance in front of the stove like a person in a commercial. Noodle is stationed by my feet with the hope of a dropped yolk. The speaker doing all of this is the size of a brick and dressed like a guitar amp.

It is doing a lot for my personality. That is part of the review.

the honest bit, with receipts

I bought the Emberton II during a sale for $129, down from its usual list price around $170, and I will not pretend the design did not close the deal. A newer version is out now with even longer battery life, and the whole family carries the same look. Here is the ledger:

I knew I was partly paying for the look. I did it anyway. The look is doing exactly what I paid it for.

what it actually does, a list

The design is the entire personality. Textured vinyl on the front, brass details, the script logo in gold, and one single knurled knob on top that clicks when you turn it. It sits on my counter next to the olive oil like it has always lived there. Every guest picks it up. Every guest says some version of "oh, cute" and then asks if it is an amplifier, and I get to say "kind of" and feel mysterious.

The sound fills a room politely. The speakers inside point in different directions, so the music does not blast at you from one spot, it sort of hangs in the room. In my kitchen it is plenty. The bass is tidy rather than thunderous, which is a compliment on a Tuesday and a mild disappointment when a song deserves thunder. This is a picnic speaker, not a block party speaker.

The battery is absurd in the best way. Thirty hours on a charge, and it charges over USB-C like a normal device. I charge it maybe every two weeks, usually when I notice the little battery light looking tired. It has outlasted every single dinner I have hosted, including the one where the dinner itself did not outlast the dinner.

It is waterproof in the way real life needs. IP67 rated, so sink splashes, rain on the balcony, and one incident with a tilted water glass have all been survived without ceremony. I bring it into the bathroom for shower playlists and it does not care. This is the feature I mocked in the store and use the most at home.

All the controls are one knob. Volume, track skipping, power, all through that single brass-topped dial with its satisfying clicks. No tiny buttons, no peering at icons. There is an app with an EQ if you want it. I downloaded it, adjusted the bass up once, and have not opened it since.

What it does not do, said plainly. No microphone, so no speakerphone calls. No aux input, it is Bluetooth or nothing. The bass will not rattle a room. And you are absolutely paying a premium for the styling, which in my case was the point, but you deserve to know it before you fall for the brass.

It travels like a book. Roughly the size of a hardback and heavy enough to feel expensive in a tote, around 700 grams. It has been to two picnics, one balcony party, and a friend's rooftop where it survived a spilled seltzer. I do not carry it daily, but it does not make traveling with it a decision.

tangent: the speaker is cosplaying as guitar gear

Something I keep chewing on. My speaker is dressed like an amp for a band I do not listen to. I am a product designer who thinks about why objects feel trustworthy all day, and the Emberton is a masterclass in borrowed memory: the vinyl texture, the brass, the logo, all of it points at backline gear in a basement venue you may have never stood in. My dad owned one actual guitar amp his whole life and it looked exactly this serious about itself.

Anyway, moving on. The point is the fake amp makes my eggs taste better, and that is design working correctly.

the soft landing

I keep meaning to bring it to my parents' place for a backyard dinner and then it stays home making pancakes louder, which is a perfectly good career for it. If your kitchen or bathroom or balcony could use a small warm room of music, and you want the object itself to be pretty, this family of speakers earns its counter space.

Turn the knob. It clicks. It is a small thing and it will carry you.

• ava 🎛️